Nothing Makes Sense
by hereforkicks
Summary: Basically my take on when Aika and Vyse come back from Shrine Island. Almost everything said is what I said aloud to my TV while playing. Yes, I talk to my video games. Deal with it. Oneshot. Rated for one bad word and Vyse's dirty mind.


I had nothing to do the past two days of my life, so I decided to replay SoA. I enjoy making fun of some of it. (it's like a good friend: I poke fun at it because I love it so much) So, I was around the part where you get back from Shrine Island, and a thought struck me. As it turns out, according to the game, this is totally backwards, but I felt like writing it down anyways. So, ladies and gents, I present: probably the closest thing to a crackfic I will ever write.

Disclaimer: I don't own SoA. If I did, not only would it have a sequel, but Fina and Enrique would've been a couple.

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It was shocking. They hadn't been gone that long, but so much had changed. Granted, fighting that giant, gold, laser-shooting, statue thing had taken a bit, but still…. (A/N: SILVER, Vyse. It was silver.) Their home was destroyed. There were fires, homes were demolished, trees were knocked over, and laundry was scattered across the ground. _Okay, so maybe the kids did that last part…._ Vyse thought to himself. Aika was, for once, silent. She had collapsed in front of her house, too shocked to speak, or to cry. _Where'd that giant boulder come from? It's too big to have been in that crater over there. Speaking of which…._ He ran over to Ben, who was lying injured on the ground near the aforementioned crater.

"Ben! BEN! Are you alright?! What happened here?!"

"The Valuans came...with battleships….I barely had time to warn the others….The women and children are safe in the underground base, but…..your father….and the others…All the others were taken prisoner…."

"Wait, why weren't you taken? Were you not considered a pirate? Or a man?" a confused look was on Vyse's face. "Isn't that kind of insulting…?"

"That isn't exactly important right now. Go….check on the others…"

Deciding, once again, to not question the logic of the situation, Vyse ran don to the underground base. He began to search for Mabel, but he couldn't find her anywhere. _Odd…She's a woman, AND a pirate. But I don't think they'd take her…They wouldn't suspect her._ (A/N: in the game, Mabel the Raider is also missing, but when you rescue the pirates…She isn't with them in Valua. 0o;; Odd…)

Sighing, he tried to think of upsides to the situation. "Dad was always nagging at me, so it's not entirely awful that he's gone. The women were always complaining about their husbands, anyways, so maybe this'll get them to finally shut up. We can rebuild the village. Better than before, maybe! With Aika's house destroyed, she'll have no choice but to move in with me. (A/N: Vyse, you're a pervert) Fina….well, we didn't know her long, and she was too shy to do anything with me anyways. (A/N: I will never be able to look at Vyse the same again 0o;;) The ship wasn't that great. It was time to get a new one. Yeah…We'll get through this!"

With those 'encouraging' thoughts in mind, Vyse made his way over to the tavern. (A/N: Pub? Bar? I'm too lazy to go look up what they called it.) He reached for the bottle of loqua that was normally sitting on the table……and his hand hit air. _That's odd…._ He walked over to the cabinet, and opened it to discover he most horrifying thing he had ever seen in his life. **THE LOQUA WAS GONE.** "Oh no they didn't…." the boy muttered aloud as he raced outside. He took a quick left, ran up the ramp, and climbed the ladder. Rushing over to the boxes near his father's office, he prayed to the moons that what he feared had happened was all just a horrible, horrible dream.

Prying the lids off the boxes normally took around five minutes. They just fell off this time, though. Vyse peered inside, already knowing what he would see. There wasn't even a single loquat berry left inside. The boy shook with rage. How could they DO this to him?! "Those damned Valuans will PAY!"

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Yes, I know it was stupid. Yes, I know I have issues. And, yes, I DID in fact take my pills this morning. However, this still needed to be written down or my head was going to explode. I actually considered doing it in comic form, but then I realized that, even though I can draw people posing, I still couldn't do people moving and talking. And Vyse's outfit is too pwnsome for me to have a chance of doing right, anyways. So, live with my bad writing,. And please review! Reviews make me feel loved. –smiles-


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